This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. The saddest part is it's true. This next generation is going to be a bunch of emotionally abused, superficial, and super-dependent on their romantic interest girls who think that it doesn't matter what happens, everything will be okay as long as you have love. So here it is: The Top 20 Unfortunate Lessons Girls Learn From Twilight.

1. If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores you or is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in love with you — and you are the point of his existence.
2. Secrets are good — especially life-threatening ones.
3. It’s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he has great abs.
4. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.
5. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling you he will never see you again), it is because he loves you so much he will suffer just to keep you safe.
6. When a boy leaves you, going into shock, losing all your friends and enduring night terrors are completely acceptable occurrences — as long as you keep your grades up.
7. It is extremely romantic to put yourself in dangerous situations in order to see your ex-boyfriend again. It’s even more romantic to remember the sound of his voice when he yelled at you.
8. Boys who leave you always come back.
9. Because they come back, you should hold out, waiting for them for months, even when completely acceptable and less-abusive alternative males present themselves.
10. Even though you have no intention of dating an alternative male who expresses interest in you, it is fine to string the young man along for months. Also, you should use him to fix things for you. Maybe he’ll even buy you something.
11. You should use said male to fix things because girls are incapable of anything mechanical or technical.
12. Lying to your parents is fine. Lying to your parents while you run away to save your suicidal boyfriend is an extremely good idea that shows your strength and maturity. Also, it is what you must do.
13. Car theft in the service of love is acceptable.
14. If the boy you are in love with causes you (even indirectly) to be so badly beaten you end up in the hospital, you should tell the doctors and your family that you “fell down the steps” because you are such a silly, clumsy girl. That false explanation always works well for abused women.
15. Men can be changed for the better if you sacrifice everything you are and devote yourself to their need for change.
16. Young women should make no effort to improve their social skills or emotional state. Instead, they should seek out potential mates that share their morose deficiencies and emotional illnesses.
17. Girls shouldn’t always read a book series just because everyone else has.
18. When writing a book series, it’s acceptable to lift seminal source material and bastardize it with tired, overwrought teenage angst.
19. When making or watching a major feature film, you should gleefully embrace the 20 minutes of plot it provides in between extended segments of vacant-eyed silence and self-indulgent, moaning banter.
20. Vampires — once among the great villains of literature and motion pictures — are no longer scary. In fact, they’re every bit as whiny, self-absorbed and impotent as any human being.

From: http://www.wired.com/underwire/2009/11/twilight-lessons-girls-learn/#ixzz0sNGYeDKZ

First few days on the job

So I started work yesterday, and it went well, although a bit boring. Then again, I filled out paperwork, got my name on the register so I could clock in and out, and then I pretty much followed Lisa around while she made sales. I know almost nothing about what I'm doing. I've devoted the last 6 years of my life to classical music...in high school and college. This is a whole new ballgame. So yeah...Nothing happened really yesterday. Today I learned how to ring people up, how to check prices and label things. They're doing inventory tomorrow and Thursday, so today was mostly spent marking down items that are going to expire soonish. My seven-hour workday became a nine-hour workday because Lisa needed to finish up some promo stuff and didn't have time to really train me, so we made up that time today plus added some. And guess who made a $300 sale to her third customer? That's right. Then corporate came in and told Lisa that it was too soon to have me on register. Boo. I could really use those commissions! I also met a couple guys that I'm going to be working with. Chris seems really nice, although he's quiet. AJ is going to be a lot of fun to work with. I can see him and I getting along in the way Ryan Brock and I get along, bickering for the fun of it... And Bobby just seems like an altogether great guy. He and I clicked and I have a feelings he and I could become really good friends. So I'm really excited for this job. It's going to be hard, but it'll be worth it. And maybe I'll make some new friends from this.

Thoughts of an Insomniac

I haven't been sleeping well the past week, and that's been giving me time for a lot of Hulu and Netflix online watching. Tonight at around 2 AM, I decided I'm going to watch Roswell. I'd always heard that it was the type of show I appreciate. I love drama and I'm a bit of a nerd. Add the two together and it makes a perfect combination. In the last minute of the fourth episode, Liz's dying grandmother makes her promise to follow her heart. Afterward Liz muses, "Sometimes when you follow your heart, it takes you places where you know there is no happy ending... You leave what is normal, go into the unknown, and once you do, you can never go back."
That's so true. I was raised with "follow your heart" being drilled into my head for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, this was usually in a fairytale where everyone except the villain had their happily ever after. But life isn't a fairytale. Not everyone has a happily ever after. That never stopped me from following my heart. It never prevented me from believing that one day, I, too, will have my happily ever after. I recently made a decision following my heart that I knew would lead me down the road of life, not the fairytale ending. And I don't do things halfway. I went into this fully knowing what my outcome was going to be, but once I started down that road, I knew there was no turning back. And just as I expected, I ended up hurt. I always do. I guess I've learned that I look for the next "happily right now," knowing that now won't be forever. I will end up crying. I will be miserable for a little bit. But then I WILL pick myself up again (after Chipotle and a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cinnamon Buns ice cream). No need to cry for too long, because it's really not worth it. My next "happily right now" awaits. So there I go, on this endless cycle of joy and excitement, then disappointment and sometimes heartbreak. And that part sucks. A lot. But at least I can always say I followed my heart wherever it leads me, and I have no regrets. Now time to move on again.

GOT IIIIIIIIT!

So my seemingly endless quest for employment has now officially ended. I start work at GNC at The Waterfront on Monday. It'll be a long day, 3:30-9:30, but I have a feeling that this is going to be good. I'm an actual real person now. I'll be paying my own rent, buying my own groceries, paying my own bills for the first time in my life. I can't even begin to tell you how terrifying that is. Partly to celebrate and party because Kristen and I never hang out enough, we're seeing Sex and the City. I'm really only seeing it for Liza. I never watched the show, never saw the first movie. But seriously... Liza Minnelli singing "All the Single Ladies?" It's a must see! And I'm really excited. It's a good day.

New Job?

I have a job interview tomorrow with the district manager for a nutrition store. It's the first and only place that has gotten back to me after the millions of applications I've filled out. I had an interview with the store manager on Friday, and she really liked me, so I'm hoping for the best. She said I seemed like a hard worker and I'm very personable and easy to approach, and she liked that I was eager to learn. I'm really happy she very easily overlooked that I have absolutely no retail experience and my only real job was Subway. Actually, let's move on from there. It was two years ago, and I still can't walk into Subway without my stomach turning. She actually called me back 20 minutes after I interviewed with her to set up the second interview, and she told me certain things to prepare- like answering the question of why he should hire me over other people who have had retail experience, knowing a little of the history of the company, and familiarizing myself with some of the products. It's kind of obvious to know about that stuff before an interview, but it was nice to know that she wanted to make sure I would get the job. She actually told me some things to say to him because she likes me and she said she wants him to like me too. So yay! Good news! I probably have this job.
So now I'm reading up on vitamins and which ones are necessary, fish oil and why you should take it, antioxidants, and whey proteins. Lemme tell ya, there's nothing more interesting than whey proteins. I know it's all stuff I need to know, but it's so dull. I just have to remind myself that this is only for a year, my supervisor Lisa seems really cool and I really liked her, and it will be a great company to work for. AND while I'm working there, I'll get to meet new people. Really tall, really muscular people who look like they'd probably be able to bench me. There's nothing that makes my mouth water more than a really muscular back. See? Not so bad. Except for this whey protein business. I really wish I had Ryan's copy of Chamber of Secrets that I was reading earlier today. Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!

Boredom and Beethoven

So after enjoying reading my friends' blogs, I decided to jump on the bandwagon. I can't really promise anything exciting, since I do happen to live in Pittsburgh, and when you have no money, there's not really that much to do around here. So I'm sitting, bored out of my mind at 11:52 PM. I'm unemployed, trying desperately to find a job, without much luck, and I'm hoping that my BFA in Vocal Music Performance will do something to get me a job in something OTHER THAN Vocal Music Performance. So far, it's not looking good.

It has been raining nonstop for an entire week, and I'm over it. I'd just like to see some sun. It was playing "just the tip" on and off today, and as soon as I got excited it was out, the clouds covered it up again. Oh what I'd do to be able to go hiking! I have so much pent up energy and no way to release it.

I did see an epic performance of Beethoven's 9th with the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra last night with one of my SAI sisters. It was a borderline religious experience. If you ever get the opportunity to see it live, do it. It is a masterpiece. I was sitting there, not really knowing the piece, but wondering how the "Ode to Joy" would tie in to the rest of it because it was all orchestral until the fourth movement. It was absolutely incredible how Beethoven foreshadowed the climax of the piece, and when the baritone solo came in (he was INCREDIBLE, by the way), I knew that I was going to have one of those moments where my desire to be a musician is reaffirmed. I did. I was THAT PERSON who cried at the symphony. The chorus joined in, the "Ode to Joy", that little ditty everyone knows and hums, and it was overwhelming, the sheer power of it. I can't imagine what it would have been like for the people experiencing the premiere. My entire body was covered in goosebumps, my heart was pounding, I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins, and the tears just...happened. It was the next thing. Sensory overload. I didn't want it to end. When the last chord was played, the entire audience jumped to their feet, and we applauded and cheered for what seemed like eons. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, and God, am I glad I went. Music like that is why I perform. I'll be really lucky if I can give that kind of experience to just one person, because as cheesy as it sounds, it was life changing.